Have you ever wondered whether it’s the right time for you to move out of your parents’ house? Maybe you’ve just graduated from your studies or maybe you’ve always dreamed about achieving freedom and being independent. Nevertheless, you have this itch on your feet to be on your own.
In the meantime, there’s no reason whatsoever for you to feel guilty or ashamed about living with your parents. This is especially so if you help around with chores around the house and pay the bills. Nowadays, it has become normal for an adult children aged 28 years old to be living with their parents. This is due to our economy that has been taking a downward spiral for quite some time. Student debts, loan payment, and property prices have sky-rocketed and we are not able to pay these off. Living with your parents is a great way for you to combine resources with the family unit and save a lot of money. But, even though being accountable to your loved ones feels great, there’s a huge satisfaction to being independent as well.
Many people have agreed that 25-26 years old is an appropriate age for an adult to move out of their parent’s house. But to be honest, there’s no perfect age for you to do it. If you are financially and mentally capable to be independent, then you should start considering moving out of your parents’ house.
So these are the 5 signs that you should move out of your parents’ house:
1. You are forgoing your social life
One of the easiest ways to tell whether you should start moving out is if you are still treated like a high school teenager by your parents. Especially if you love to go out with your friends after work. You are not able to go out, so you find yourself re-living your teenage routine of sneaking out at night. To be honest, parents are overprotective because they worry and care about you. They don’t want anything bad to happen while you are out, hence they still set a curfew to when you’re supposed to come home. So, it is kind of tough to get mad at them for it. But it is tougher to abide by parents’ strict rules when you are an adult. You want to stay on your parents’ good side but it could mean saying goodbye to your social life.
If your social life is taking a damage due to rules and restriction set by your parents, then finding a property from SPEEDHOME is the best idea.
2. You have no privacy
It is understandable and normal if you want to keep your social life or other parts of your life from your parents or siblings. This could be because your parents were always overprotective over you when you were a teenager. Your friends or the person you are seeing can’t come to your house without your whole family knowing. You just can’t risk your boyfriend sleeping on the couch after watching a movie together. But, it is kind of annoying when you always have to update your parents on your whereabouts every time you go out. As an adult, you shouldn’t need to seek for your parents’ approval to dye your hair or stay up until 4 a.m binge-watching a Netflix series. If you find yourself having to do this still, then your living arrangements probably need an update.
You will truly appreciate being able to do anything at your own time, without anyone forcing or stopping you.
3. Your commute to work is too long
We get it, living at home means you can save a ton of money. But what about your time and energy? If your commute to work is like taking a small road-trip across county, I think you should start to consider moving out of you parents’. Long commutes will make your already tired body (from work) even more burned-out. This is especially so if you have to take more than an hour-long train ride just to get to work. And another hour or two to get back home. My friend, let me tell you this, it’s not worth it. All the time that you spend commuting can be spent on resting or something more productive. Time is money they say!
Oftentimes, there is a trade-off in choosing between saving money but spending more time commuting versus shorter commute but spending money on rent and utilities etc. Make the right decision that is best for yourself.
4. You don’t have basic life skills
Does your parent still help with your laundry? In a way, this is a huge perk by staying with your parents’, but it is very important for an adult to know how to do these things. If you are still not able to do things like doing laundry, paying bills or even preparing your own meals, you might want to consider moving out to start learning these things.
It sounds boring, I know, but growing up means accepting that you have to take opportunities to grow and mature. Plus, ‘adulting’ is something that everyone has to go through, and the faster you start, the faster you learn. Even if you’re not moving out because you want to be independent, at least do it because you don’t want to burden your parents with your dirty laundry anymore. Literally.
5. You have a steady job and reliable income
If you are financially stable, meaning you don’t need to rely on anyone to help you pay the bills, it might be a good time for you to move out of your parents’ home. Granted, moving out means you have to start budgeting your monthly income since a lump of your rent would need to be spend on rent and utilities. Hence, we have this guide where you can follow so you’re not making any unwise decision.
Moreover, once you move out of your parents’ house, you are able to work towards making your aspirations a reality.
How Do You Convince Your Overprotective Parents To Agree?
Adult children, especially women in Malaysia have a much harder time convincing their parents to let them move out. This is because parents are overprotective over their little (now not so anymore) girl. So how do you break the news to your parents that you’re ready to spread your wings and fly without them exploding or melting down?
To be frank, you could just pick up your bags and leave, never looking back but there are so many better ways to do it. After all, this is your first step in being your own person so you gotta do it right. These are the steps that you’re advised to take:
1. Carefully communicate with your parents
I know, this is probably the opposite of what your instinct tells you if you’re non-confrontational. But, the first thing that you should do is communicate and tell your parents about your plans. They have a right to at least know that their child is moving out. However, how you relay your intention is very important.
Nothing is worse than setting off a parental bomb without thinking things through. Be very diplomatic but at the same time firm when you’re telling them you’re moving out. You will need to fully analyze the situation before saying anything. If you have parents who would unequivocally say no without listening to reasons, be ready to defend yourself and tell them what the plan is. Some parents will explode because they refuse to let you leave, but eventually they will come to terms with you growing up.
2. Have a thorough and realistic plan
Strict parents are overprotective because they really worry about you, so explaining a thorough plan when you move out might change their minds. Before you tell your parents that you are moving out, you need to have a detailed move-out plan. Make sure to read this first. This way, all their worries can be reasoned. It’s even better if you plan to move with a roommate that your parents know and trust. Having extra savings also could diminish your parents’ concern.
Having a set plan can aid you in avoiding dead-end situations with no way out. This plan could include your monthly budget, also your short-term and long-term goals. You don’t want to move out just so you can move back in because you are not ready.
3. Don’t break the news alone
If you are moving in with your friends, having them there for support when you break the news will probably lessen the fear in their hearts. This would show the level of commitment that you have put in. At the same time, this will show them that you’re not making this decision alone. But beware, both you and your future housemate have to be ready to answer important questions that address their fears.
Alternatively, you can tell one parent/sibling whom you’re closest to beforehand so you can test the waters. It might be better if you can persuade one parent to agree in the decision that you are making. This way, you can have that parent’s moral support when you decide to tell the other parent. Or better yet, that parent can do it for you!
Moving out can be tough no matter how old you are, but if you plan and are ready, even your parents can’t say no to this plan. Moving out doesn’t mean you have to tarnish your relationship with your parents. Your gut feelings might not want you to break the news to your parents, but you owe it to them to show that you are able to be independent after all these years being under their wings. And they cannot blame you for that.